Monday, February 28, 2011

Feb. 28 "Kite Stuck in a Tree"

oil on canvas, 8" x 10"
Feb. 27, "Randy Watching Oscars"

oil on canvas, 5" x 7"

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Feb. 26 "unfinished hippie girl"

oil on canvas, 9" x 15"

well this had been a week where I was really questioning this whole thing and still am and it ends with my first truly unfinished painting. Last night about a half hour after I started this Vincent woke up and just would never let me leave his side. It ends up he is pretty sick today. I am bummed that I didn't get to finish it in one pass but I will probably try to finish it tonight. It's ironic after the whole, "I never finish anything" post. But it will be hard to finish this in some ways because I like the ghost images drawn around the final drawing of the girl. It could almost be finished.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Feb. 23

oil on canvas, 24 x 36.

So I have issues with this project. I brought this up earlier and it doesn't seem to be getting better. There are a few reasons for this.
First, I have started to tell more people about it and in that simple act I feel that I started to become less interested. I was immediately regretting posting something about it on Facebook and then ironically was upset when it didn't seem like enough people responded to this. Also, I started feeling very self conscious about writing stuff in my blog. And then I noticed that I basically get an average of two page hits a day. I haven't even had someone look at this blog for over 24 hours. So no real worry about having millions of people peering into my thought process. And yet...that is disappointing to me. So I guess the private/ public nature of this project is starting to seem weird to me.
Next, I am really starting to question myself as an artist. I have made many many bad paintings in my life. People besides myself and my husband very rarely see these. Today I brought all of the paintings in this project to my studio and had a look at them. My impressions were: these are all very small and there are only four that I feel are really strong when I see them all together. There are parts of each of them that I like but only four that I feel hold themselves together as a cohesive interesting to look at, well painted, good contrast, nice brush strokes painting, and really...only three but I just like the fourth and am trying to squeeze it in. After two months of doing this that is slightly disappointing. But at the same time I have three to four good paintings that I didn't have before so that is a positive.
And then today I made this painting. I couldn't paint small today, I realize that although it is a good challenge and I have made those three to four, I have always been more of a large canvas painter. This is something I am trying to grow out of but it was a relief to paint big today. And I gave myself a lot of time to do so. Four hours, which is twice as much as I have taken for the other ones.
This painting is embarrassing to me because it is a still life of objects that seem kind of ridiculous. Objects that seem like I got them out of a still life closet from a college. And this brings me to the last reason why I am starting to question myself. This project is getting me back to painting and inevitably when I start making 'art' I start to question myself. It is a lot easier to think about making it then to start to make it and see what I do. Because I really fuck around a lot. When I don't have a show, when I don't have something to paint for I 'experiment'. All. the. time. And I am not saying I experiment radically it is more meant as I don't commit. I am all over the place. And this aids in my bad art production. And when I am making so much bad art I wonder why I think I am an artist at all. It really starts to make me question myself to my very core.
This was why I started this. To move forward. But it is starting to get to the point of why I stopped to begin with.
I will say one thing that I am proud of in this painting and that is that I finished it. Typically I would have set this still life up thinking it would make an awesome painting, I would have gotten about one third of the way through and have suddenly decided that this was a rather stupid idea to begin with and I would have tossed the canvas aside. I would have found this canvas a few months later and thought, I should have just finished this. It wasn't THAT bad of an idea and at least it would be a finished thing. So I followed through with it, even though I really really didn't want to at many points.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Feb. 21 "Zilker Botanical Garden, Children's Garden"

oil on canvas, 10" x 10".

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Feb. 19 "Happy Birthday Mom"

oil on board, 6" x 6"

used Randy's iphone to take a pic and it seems his iphone is really better!! My mom didn't really think that the baby looked like me and because it was my mom and she was complaining "where is my beautiful baby" I tried to make it look more like me and it still doesn't. I normally wouldn't care if it looked like me or not, but....it's my mom and her birthday, so....

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Feb. 18, "Girl Scout"

oil on board, 8" x 8"

Went to Girl Scout Horse Camp when I was young. Didn't really like camp, but loved the riding horses part. I realized the Dinosaur area of Zilker Botanical Gardens reminds me a bit of Payson Arizona (or Prescott? my sister went to one and I went to the other). And I have always wanted to make a Girl Scout Painting. I once ordered girl scout uniforms on ebay for a photo shoot but never used them. Had an image of a girl scout laying about, thought I'd throw some horses in. voila! Immediate psycho sexual subtext. My mom said she thought this painting is warm and lovely! And I do too. I am innocent!
Again, I have too low of a composition. If a student of mine made this I would be like, "ARGHH you ruined it by having her foot brush the edge!"

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Feb. 15 "Zilker Botanical, Dinosaur Garden 2"

oil on canvas, 10" x 10"

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Feb. 14 "Jen in Forest"

oil on canvas, 8" x 10"

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Feb. 12 "Eye Ball"

oil on canvas, 5" x 7"

This week really marked the first time that I started questioning why I am doing this. It hasn't yet seemed to me that any of these feed completely into my own work. And they are all so small that they really give the impression of seeming insignificant to me. It has been too cold to paint outside here or to paint in my studio and it is FINALLY getting warm this week so maybe my attitude will get better about it. I still stuck to it. Mainly because I so often drop things and then years later I will wonder why I dropped them and think it is a pity that I did so. BUT! Maybe there are good reasons to drop stuff.
The issue to me is the subject matter. It was the issue I had before this began and it still seems to be there. I am all over the place. I started this project to practice my painting but I was also hoping to catch on to subject matter that I am really interested in. To find something new. And to burrow into it. But I haven't yet found that. I am probably being impatient.
This is a painting of an Eye Ball. I love this little thing and I love the fabric it is under. I had a lot of trouble getting the highlights on the actual ball so the circles of the fabric end up being somewhat enmeshed with the ball. I think this might be the first painting I might go back into just to get it where I would like it to be highlight wise.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Feb. 10 "Kate and the Polar Bear"

oil on board, 9" x 12"
Another Kate Middleton with animal. Kept thinking about this image for some reason. Almost didn't do it because it seemed so stupid. But it goes with the snow theme for the week. I like how it turned out.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Feb. 7 "Matt on the Snow Day"

oil on canvas, 8" x 10"

It snowed in Austin on Friday and all of our neighbors came over to our backyard in the morning and the kids played, made snowballs, etc. I took a bunch of pictures but was really wanting to paint Matt for some reason. I liked the beard, hat, loggerish look.
Plus I thought that a swow painting would go nicely with the white and purple palette used in the purple poncho painting. Maybe a snow week? I would like to paint outside today because a cold front is coming tomorrow but.. it is really cold this morning. I might not be doing much outside paintings again until March at the rate this weather is going.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Feb. 6 "Purple Poncho"

oil on canvas, 9" x 12"

back to the ponchos for today at least.

Friday, February 04, 2011

Feb. 3 "Kate and the Tiger"

oil on canvas, 5" x 7"

what can I say? I have a thing for Kate Middleton and Tigers right now. Not sure why. Attempted this painting. It kind of kicked my ass. Got too messy and such, but? what the hell.

the bummer is that now I am out of white, and it snowed. And I would have liked to paint that but I think I will have to paint the photos from this morning.

This was the first painting made from photos after 6 paintings of observation of life. I have to say I like the observation of life better. More experiential for me, at least. Plus, hard to paint little tiny people and tigers. Will try harder.....

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Feb. 2 "Flower in Vase"

oil on canvas, 10" x 10".

Trapped in the house today. And probably tomorrow!!!

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Jan. 31 "Bananas"

oil on canvas 5" x 7".

hmmmm..... it begs the question....what makes a bad painting? Subject matter, composition, color? And can bad ever be good? I would have liked to do a full week of Zilker Botanical Garden, and I probably will end up doing many many paintings of that place. But it was cold in the morning and by the time I had time to do anything it was night and I was at a loss. So I thought, try the bananas.